You’ve heard of writing prompts, now we have revision prompts! 
Each prompt will give you a specific writing issue to check for in your WIP, along with tips on how to fix each. Going through this process one issue at a time will not only help polish your current novel but will also teach you specific ways to improve your writing for your next story.
AUTHOR INTRUSION: A literary technique where the author inserts himself into the story to say something directly to the reader. Some people consider this a good thing, because it creates a direct relationship between author and reader. The downside of this, however, is that to do this, an author has to interrupt the action of the story to say his piece, and often jolts the reader out of of the story. (Think Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.)
SEARCH FOR WORDS THAT COMMONLY INDICATE AUTHOR INTRUSION:
1) Little did he know (also with “she” and “they”)
2) What he didn’t know (also with “she” and “they”)
3) Soon he would find out (variations: by next week/after their meeting/within a month, etc; he would discover/learn/understand–you get the drift; anything that indicates something that will happen in the future which the POV character would not know)
ALSO CHECK FOR any place where a character goes off on a rant about something political or ethical. Does it flow well into the narrative? Does it fit the character’s personality? If not, there’s a good chance it will come across to the readers as the author plugging his own opinion in through the character. (Michael Crichton often does this.)
One of the keys to publication is a willingness to learn. We hope our Revising Prompts will help you learn more about the craft of writing and speed you on your way to publication.
Leslie says
Great Revision Prompt! It repositioned my thinking from “moving the story along” to “author intrusion”. It makes me think of a wonderful piece of advice given to me by Robert Smythe, “Trust your reader”. I guess I didn’t realize how little I trusted.
Thank you.
Leslie
Phyllis Wheeler says
So glad this was helpful for you, Leslie! It was helpful for me too.
Pam Halter says
Great quote, Leslie – trust the reader. I think if we feel we have to jump in and explain, we haven’t done our job as authors. It takes a long time to write a novel, and so many people are in too much of a hurry. Maybe that’s why authors intrude?
Suzanne Hartmann says
I think you hit the nail on the head, Pam. It’s a shortcut way to tell the readers know something instead of taking the time to figure out a way to show them. It also robs some of the suspense from the story instead of building up the suspense until the readers discover it as the author shows it.
Suzanne Hartmann says
I hadn’t thought of it as a version of not trusting the reader, but it’s true! Readers are smart. We give them the clues and they can figure it out.
TLC Nielsen says
Thanks for doing this! Exactly what the word doctor ordered for me now that I’m in my first rounds of editing. This is incredibly helpful.
Phyllis Wheeler says
Cool!!!!
Gail Kittleson says
I resonate to Leslie’s comment – I’ve come to believe the more codependent we are in real life (not trusting, having to force things, control situations/people), the more we intrude as authors. You can take that w/a smile, but I have a feeling it would prove true if researched. Thanks for this post, Phyllis. I always learn from you.
Rachel Windham says
Very helpful! Thank you.
Suzanne Hartmann says
You’re welcome, Rachel. So glad you find it helpful.